Random Mammoth Tusk: There, there Voldie. It's not so bad...you've got to keep your mind focused on getting to Mordor!
Voldie: Yeah...about that...well it might be awhile really, now I've got my Death Eater homies back and such.
Lucius Malfoy: Muggles to kill, wizards to torture! No time, no time at all! Must be going, you see! *hurries away*
Voldie: *Looks on fondly* Well he does love his job! Not the best job security, you know. Just the other day he threatened to go to the Muggle police if I didn't give him a pension plan! Well, such is the competitive workplace nowadays.
Abraxas Malfoy (Malfoy's grandfather): Why, sonny, back in my day there was no such thing! You killed for the love of the job! All this nonsense...Grindelwald would have heard none of it!
Voldie: Ah, but he's not around anymore! Ought to have taken a leaf from my book!
Random Uruk-Hai: Hmm, maybe we should talk to Saruman...I'd like a two-week paid vacation and a break for every 5 hours' pillaging, every 3 hours' cutting down trees.
Arnold (Ginny's Pygmy Puff): Aye! I hear you brother!
Uruk-Hai: Who in tarnation are you?
Arnold: I might say the same about you!
Uruk-Hai: *sidles away*
Grond: What up?
Arnold: Oh nothing. Just having a cup of tea with Voldie here and reminiscing about the good ol' days.
Grond: Oh. Well, what about going to Mordor and all that?
Arnold: Well you see, it's been put on hold at the moment, as Voldie is taking some time off to wage war against the rest of Wizardkind and the Muggles.
Grond: I see. Well, tell him I send my regards.
Ron: Fo shizzle ma nizzle, yo.
Hermione: Ronald, please! It does not turn me on when you talk ghetto.
Ron: Yo milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Harry: I know it does.
Random Pencil: Why on earth is that random purple puffy thing getting all the attention?! *jealous look*
Arnold: YOUR MOM is getting all the attention.
Random Pencil: Bring it, biatch!!
Mad-Eye Moody: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!
Voldie: *squeals, falls off chair*
Mad-Eye: Sorry bout that. It just comes out every so often.
Random Pencil and Random Mammoth Tusk: *conspire* ...effing puffball...*conspire*
Shifty Character: Meanwhile...